B-movie Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Attack of the Really Lame Stick Figures

Snakes on a Train

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

The Directors Gut.

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."