Awkward Turtle Mugs

'Sorry there's no food. We were kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

The Stripper

"We haven't danced in ages."

Ike and Tina Turtle.

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Tortoises breakdancing

Sex Education Class: "Smirking or non smirking?"

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

Tortoise polishing his shell

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'Don't worry Darling, they're scientists'

Turtle Home

"Hey, no kidding! I prefer slow dancing, too!"

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .