Awkward Date Artist Mugs

"I'd like to take things slow, Al, so instead of a goodnight kiss I'm going to poke you a few times with this stick."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

In Desperate Straits.

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.

Nethead strip: Dates

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'This is the last time I'm going fishing with you, Harold!'

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

"Well, I guess if breathing through your mouth has kept you alive this far..."

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

The Adventures of Morton

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'I'm a herbologist. I study this guy.'

Uncomfortably open Mike night.