Award Show Producer T-Shirts

"This ought to bring in the young demographic!"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Applause

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Little Red Riding Carpet

Senior Jeopardy!

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

Next camera crew 5 mins

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"