Average Achievers Alliance Gifts

"My dad isn't going to like this. It has 'average' written all over it."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

U of Debt

Go! Means NOW!

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

GCSEs

"I need to clone myself."

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

'He's a real high flyer!'

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

High Five

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"I see you got an A+++ in science."

"The chairman said he wanted to see you when you got out of hospital."

"Great! I've finally mastered all my competencies and my teachers still have most of their hair."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"Well, Timmy's academic results show that he has an exceptional instinct, well above the standard "basic instinct"..."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

"Your mother and I have seen your report card, and we've decided to distance ourselves from you."

'Well, we made it.'

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'