Autonomous Mind T-Shirts

"I can do whatever I want. It's a free country. Well, at least for the time being."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Is this who I am?"

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"I beg to differ."

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

Nervous Buddha

Mind Island

"I can't decide whether to run away or just get off the grid."

'I think my body's trying to tell me I'm overweight. This morning I found 'Space For Rent' signs on my hips.'

Whacha Thinking About?

'Why yes. We do owe you a very large rebate!'

'Anyway, thanks for listening to me...'

Nostradamus had the chance to get at least one right.

"We value free and independent thinking as long as it's approved by your direct supervisor."

"Neighbors say you saw a movie that featured someone critical of the government's corona measures. You better come with us."

'...do I want to risk putting up with someone like me?'

'Ok...so then we're agreed that it's all about me!'

Man with a button on his head.

"I'm just worried that I've let myself become a follower."

Healing Crystals

'Darling, that memory course I've been doing, can you remember its web address.'

You can't come out...

''The meaning of life'? -- are you from some dictionary company?'

"I'd love to learn more about wine, but I'm barely tolerable as it is."

"Is it wiser to be ruled or to be the ruler? Hmm...maybe it's best to be ruler of ones self while living the golden rule."

"Has anyone turned in a pair of reading glasses?"

"Hand me my dirty glass, Carmen...I mean Gracie...I mean YOU!"