Automobile Collecting Gifts

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

Acme Flyswatters.

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"It's a sports car. It's supposed to be uncomfortable."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'

"We argue a lot about money--her library fines, my antique car collection..."

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

"Do you have anything smaller?"

Driverless tow truck.

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"Got any new monster trucks?"