Automated System Satirist Prints

If you would be willing to take a short survey at the end of this call, press "1". If you would like to risk being punished for not taking the survey by being kept on hold for an extra 10 minutes, press "2."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"You're fired."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Torturing the English Language

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

Trump pardons

UK border controls relaxed.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

No-Work Orange

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Ghostwriting the Bible

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

CIA report

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

Please enjoy this culturally, ethnically, religiously and politically correct cartoon responsibly.

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

"Now you can send it."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'