Automated System Navigator T-Shirts

"And to admit defeat, press nine."

The Life of Pi

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

'Just in case there is an accident.'

"This translation app isn't working."

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

"You don't use a search engine for an Easter egg hunt."

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"I'm Mr. Trump's attorney and this is my attorney. Once his attorney arrives, we can begin."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Man about to enter a maze with a arrow saying 'Internet' with the world at its center

Number Phobia.

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

'Yes, he's neurotic - It's a common condition with neurologists.'

"Oh shut up."

"Sorry I'm late - my Uber driver turned out to be the Google Maps guy."

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

"No, no, no. Double-click to open. I'll walk you through it one more time. Go get your leash."

"Unless you have a 13 year-old running around, I strongly recommend you buy the 1 year technical support."

'Backseat driver...'

"Yes, Megan, it's book. Think of each page as a screen."

'I know people who know people who can't do a damn thing for me.'

'The train due to arrive at platform 2 will now arrive at platform 19.'

'I helped write the new tax code and even I don't understand it.'

Close all your windows please.

Navigation App Activated: Start: Bedroom, Destination: Bathroom, Option: Shortest Way.

Google Earth, Google Peet

'Hi, Pam, I'm Dave from tech support online. Just hit these three keys and your back in business!'

"You destination is around the next curve."