Auto Trading T-Shirts

'I just want to warn you if you buy this, you may never again know if people like you for you or your corvette.'

Only 5000 miles on the clock!

Car Dealer

"The only thing I can afford is a previously stolen car."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The day the stock market went UP.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Do you buy cars here?"

Why markets crash.

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'It seats two comfortably.'