Auto Supply Store Worker T-Shirts

"You're a lousy grocery store."

Sale! Weed Whackers

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"So...do you have a job now?"

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

Men's Prayer Group.

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Stimulus bust

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Pork Lift

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

'More people will buy our cars if we become a carbon neutral company.'

'It covers well enough, but I found the recommended drying time to be completely inadequate.'

'The president's speech on how well the recovery is going? Well, make a left at the abandoned mall, a right at the shuttered assembly plant, and a left at the closed steel mill...'

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

"Don't worry, man. President Trump will take care of us. . ."

"What a rip-off."

'Look, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt you, but...'

"It's our new electric car. We call it the 'Volts Wagon'."

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

"I had this weird nightmare. I dreamed I was a muffler! I woke up exhausted."

"Got any lightbulbs that WON'T BE the last ones I'll ever buy?"