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'It's not just a funny noise, ma'am, it's a very expensive funny noise.'

"Duh! You must get tired of all these stupid questions."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

World's cheapest car

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

"Okay. Hit it."

All you'd expect in a British car!

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

Parking? I don't think so.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'