Auto Sales Humorist T-Shirts

"Nope, no airbags. But did I mention the heavy-duty seatbelts?"

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

World's cheapest car

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

All you'd expect in a British car!

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Lucky car.

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

No Hand Signals

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Driving a Lemon.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

". . . Hey, hold that thought, I gotta use the windshield. . ."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

Parking? I don't think so.