Auto Parts Store Employee Pillows

"Excuse me...is this the right steering fluid for my car?"

"What do I have to do to change the address on my account?"

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

"Do you guys have an emergency evacuation plan?"

Sale! Weed Whackers

"So...do you have a job now?"

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Stimulus bust

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

Men's Prayer Group.

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Pork Lift

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

'It covers well enough, but I found the recommended drying time to be completely inadequate.'

'Of course, the car shower is optional.'

'Look, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt you, but...'

"What a rip-off."

'The president's speech on how well the recovery is going? Well, make a left at the abandoned mall, a right at the shuttered assembly plant, and a left at the closed steel mill...'

"It's our new electric car. We call it the 'Volts Wagon'."

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

General Motors.

"My dog chewed up my steering wheel. Then he started gnawing on my floor mats and now he bit off my seat belt. What do you recommend?"