Auto Care Comedian T-Shirts

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

CLEAR!

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Okay. Hit it."

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

No U-turns

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.