Auto Artist Gifts

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Coexist. Coexhaust.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

Jenkins took special pride in his new invention, the rubberband-powered runabout.

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

Nice park. . .

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"A new Super Guardian attack vehicle? No no, I built this for Burning man."

A souped up car...

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

A man and woman use oars from within their car.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

'Nice smile.'

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...