Auto Aficionado Amusement T-Shirts

"Please...that screams from the rooftops 'I'm totally not guy!'"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Sailor in Car.

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Caution (arrow falling from sky sign)

Inflating Boobs.

Route 666

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

Penguin Remote

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

Smile

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"Perfect."

'Oh - go get yourself a porsche.'

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

'I'm OK, but the car is in 'intensive care'!'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'