Authority Explorer Gifts

Circus Act

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Skeptic Tank.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

Blue Stockings

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

Off Duty.

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

Robot Painter

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

'Okay guys - lights out!'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

"Are you talking down to me, Evans? Because I don't like it when people talk down to me."

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"