Authority Analyst T-Shirts

Off Duty.

"Are you talking down to me, Evans? Because I don't like it when people talk down to me."

"It occurs to me, Engelhardt, that I've never truly tested the limits of my power."

'If you're a public servant, what does that make ME?'

'I can't help politicizing everything!'

"Any more questions?"

The Proper Authorities, The Quasi-Proper Authorities, and Jocko.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Light Bulb Moment

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

The Life of Pi

"Morning, all!"

"National security adviser"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

Time Is Money

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Skeptic Tank.

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'