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Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

"Your answers sound rehearsed!"

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Joan Hickson

Taking a peek at the audience

"Tong!"

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

Presenter Auditions.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

'Therapy in L.A.'

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

Casting Director

Ventriloquist Audition

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

'So, did I get the job?'

She's a natural.

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'