Audience Participants T-Shirts

Intramission

Taking a peek at the audience

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Armless chainsaw juggler.

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm gla

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

The Epsom Derby - Jockey Rides Out through the Crowd

Public speaking

Choir wearing masks.

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

A Concert Audience - A Typical Layout.

'It's a miracle!'

'Any more hecklers out there? No? OK. Hey, what's the deal with prison food?'

I'm attending a 3 week, 6-part seminar with 15 speakers to learnhow to think for myself.

"They're not happy about it, but we made a scheduling error and the customers are expecting a drag brunch."

'Does my bum look big on this'

'It's a MEXICAN wave not an English one!'