Audience Capturer Mugs

'No offence, but I need to capture a wider audience.'

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Taking a peek at the audience

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

How to engage an audience

Nervous at a party.

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm gla

Armless chainsaw juggler.

David Letterman

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

Intramission

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

'Wow, excellent turnout.'

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

"How's that for your 'corporate response?'"

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

' Pol Meeting'

"What I'd give for a heckler!"

'Does my bum look big on this'

An audience with an audience!

"Nice ass..."

'I've never been good at public squeaking!'

Trash Test Dummy