Attention Span Tamer Prints

"The hardest thing about being a youth pastor is keeping my sermons to 140 characters or less."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'I'd say you're a little late...'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

"It helps me stay focused."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"I replaced my G.P.S with auto correct, and every time I try to go right, it makes me go write...."

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

Computer Time Bomb.

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"Are you listening to me?"

'Mommy!'

"Your challenge is to present our complex project to people that have an 11 second attention span."

Betsy's not too happy with Ralph's new turbo milker.

"All my devices are in there fighting over dominance again. I'm waiting out here until they're finished. It gets on my nerves."

"That may not be the best option for printing out your novel."

"What was it like to wonder?"

"I guess the rollout of my discovery, fire, could have gone better."

Old man with a zimmer frame grittier

I'm having trouble with this new phone --- it has more capabilities than I do.