Attending University Prints

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'But I digress...'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"My homework ate my dog."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

His Master's Thesis.

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Pesky students.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Fishbowl rebellion.

Trust

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Good Luck with your finals.

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."