Attending Parties Mugs

"And just who the hell are you to tell me I'm entitled to my opinion?"

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"Arrogant? Moi?"

"Hi, I'm Mike, and this somebody standing next to me."

"Bob just came directly from work."

He's shy. I always have to drag him to these things, kicking and screaming.

"This had better be a good birthday party.. my Mum made me wash my kneck."

Penguin Party - 'Formal? Damn it Kevin, you told me it was fancy dress!'

'It's the old story with Bob and me - the eternal hexagon.'

Man chats up a mannequin at a party.

'Oh, look, it's the Pendergasts - the perfect match. He's a proctologist and she's an asshole.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"Remember Tracy, a boyfriend is for Christmas prezzies, not for life."

Told to wear his best penguin suit to the party, Jonny was beginning to regret accepting the invite.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Sorry - I didn't catch your name."

'No. . . Her Jane and that better not be a thong Jerry!'

'We were going to give you a severance package, but we used it to throw you this retirement party instead.'

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

'How do you do? I'm your wife's husband by a previous marriage.'

"Oh, no. Here comes that couple we just met whose names I forget because I wasn’t listening to them!"

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

"Hey, Tim. Nice to finally put a face to Emily’s disdain."

"I thought we decided you were going to 'check' that."

"Quality time...quality time..."

"You have a dress just like hers — but yours doesn’t fit."

"Where have I heard that laugh?"

Social Agonies.

Man Playing Cards and Wife Dancing

Men using naval terminology to describe people at the regatta ball

Man finds a football kit in his bag rather than his dinner clothes.

Age Guessing