Attending Garden Shows Mugs

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Prize vegetables.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Champagne

"But all it's playing is Mussorgsky's 'pictures at an exhibition'."

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"I collect art. Or trash, depending on your point of view."

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

Gardener of the Year.

Mrs. Fergensun unfortunately was crushed before getting what would surely have been a prize winning tomato to the county fair.

Rabbits: Nature's marshmallow

"I like your garden humans"

'Apparently he's the first to have copied this particular idea.'

'I really admire his work.'

Flower Show. How should I present the grand prize? Put the medal to the pedal!

Thanks for the lift to the flower show. I support your volunteer efforts. They're lucky to have someone with your gardening experience. Hardly! Information. The ladies room is to the left, funnel cakes to the right.

'I can't spend the afternoon with you guys, my wide wants me to help her in the garden: It's full of sea-weeds...'

"I just paint what I see."

Titan Arum

"This painting should be removed! It's way too saucy!"

'There's nothing he likes better than pulling on an old pair of trousers and pullover and getting stuck in to the Gardening Programme.'

'Now don't you dare get drunk before the performance! We've waiting six months to see this show!'

Toilet-Trees

"It's a rockery...next year we're putting in a water feature."

"Of course it's latex. It's for display purposes only."

Local Art Show

Miss of Garden.

I don't know what to wear. What?!! You never worry about your looks! I'm volunteering at the flower show. The theme is 'Springtime in Paris.' So? The only flamboyant thing I've got is from my flamboyant youth. Go for it, mom. Over the top? You'll need a chaperone.

I'm with my nana at the flower show. You can't believe how gross everyone is. Listen to this!

'The Santa vacancy has been filled but we may have something for you in the Roof Garden...'

'I think Ms. Ives wins hands down for the oddest shaped vegetable.'