Attending A Will Reading Mugs

'-and to all those cynics who said I couldn't take it with me-we're being cremated together.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"And, for God's sake, don't let anyone finish my novel!"

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'Your Great Uncle has left you all his money in this family heirloom!'

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

"Well, at least you don't have to worry about inheritance tax."

'...and to his son, he has left his leprosy...'

'I'll read the will.' - 'I don't like the look of this.'

"That reminds me, we must sort out your will."

"As per your father's wishes, the reading of the will shall be preceded by a tight five-minute comedy set inspired by my dating life -- or lack thereof!"

'As we all know your deceased Anna Clara was a devoted cat lover...'

'...Mom said i can have it!' 'No way! She promised I get the painting!'

'Hold up everyone. I read that last part wrong. She wants you to divide the 'cash' equally.'

'The good news is that you've inherited something from your father. The bad news is, it's his huge nose.'

"And to my wife who hated my bellyaching,I leave my ulcer..."

"I want to leave everything to my cat."

The estate goes toy unless your relative shows up, he does.

'Here's where your father geocached your inheritance.'

"Apparently he took it all with him."

'It's the Executor of my Grandfathers will - I've been cut off without a scent.'

The Controversial Will

". . . and I leave my whole estate to my one true companion, public radio."