Attending A Reception T-Shirts

'Careful! Don't drink this here grape juice they're servin'. I've had three bottles now, and my head's a spinnin'.'

Sloaney Pony.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'I always cry at weddings!'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

All dressed up and no place to go

Girl's hair comes unfastened as a dance is about to begin

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

How to read the dress code?

I am your BIGGEST fan!

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

'Hey! is that a good fit or not?'

"You've got to blurb me to her."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

"You don't find a style. A style finds you."

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

"Aren't you ready yet?"

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

"Any apologies for absence?"