Atkins Diet T-Shirts

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Vegetarian Birds

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Sisyphus Sawyer

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

Error in low-fat pizza design.