Athletic Underachiever T-Shirts

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

Overjumpers

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

What else is there to wish for?

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Genius Envy

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

'They're a very successful family.'

Too big to fail

Empty Headed Schoolboy

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

"There must be some way of getting yourself fired."

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

"This has been a productive homework session!"

The little engine who could, but decided not to- 'Ah, the heck with it!'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'