Assignment Aficionado T-Shirts

"Let me tell you, Kittles, after a hard day's work there's nothing I like better than to sit in my favorite chair, eat leftover Chinese food, grade 72 math tests and read 50 English papers."

Prize vegetables.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

Allotment

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

'Lost Diary'

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

"Appointments. Disappointments."

'He's really very busy but you can wait.'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Pavlov's Blog."

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

'Guilty? But I just hired an expensive personnel firm to update my resume.'

'The dog ate the flash drive with my homework on it...but I hope to get it back real soon!'

"An appointment is required except for Wednesday afternoons, when he suffers fools gladly."

'I won't rule out using sex as a weapon, but I do have a 'no first use' policy.'

'Okay, Simms, we have a verbal agreement, but I'd like my lawyer to check it.'

Homework eating dogs

'This is the mail room, they're a little short of staff sometimes.'

"All the chairs have been repossessed, so these are all standing desks now."

Shipping contract.

FBI, 'Things are slow, Bensonhurst -- let's investigate the CIA.'

'How could you have thirty years of experience when you're only twenty?'

'Mr Chairman, it's nearly midnight. Can we move on to item two?'

'Your blind date reminded you of a TV star?, 'Yeah -- I think he was wearing Columbo's raincoat.'

"Dave's a real workaholic. His idea of a holiday is to shift to another office for four weeks!"

'It links to a résumé on my website.'