Aspiring Slugger Prints

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

The Giamatti era

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

Baseball Dreams

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

No wonder kickboxing seems so hard.

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"A little high and inside."

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."

Always stick to the script.

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'