Aspiring Screenwriter Mugs

"No movie deal yet, but Kinko's extremely interested in the idea of making multiple copies of your screenplay."

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"

"I've sent last minute treatments to all the major studios."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

TV scriptwriter begging outside reality TV studio.

"Soon to be a motion picture."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Herman Mankiewicz

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

Stand-up Romcom

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"