Aspiring Promotion Meister Pillows

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Baby Piano

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Upward Progress

Bassoons.

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

The March to the Top

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

Work avalanche

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

"I already GAVE you a raise, three weeks from now!"

'Why was I passed over for the C.F.O. position?'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

'I'd like to be one of those people who sets targets for other people.'

'Edna, the company was serious when it said it planned on promoting from within.'

"Do you know why you never made VP? Indecisiveness. You're still indecisive!"

'I can't promote you to that position ... you'd be perfect for the job.'

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

'I want to reach the number one spot at Google.'

'Just a minute Simkins, I have that letter of application for promotion here somewhere...'

'This isn't going to help your promotion chances, Smythe...'

'I get it, Smith. No raise means you'll go over to our competitor.'

"Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and mopper-upper guy."

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

"Well you're obviously very good at your job so why don't we promote you to something you know nothing about!"

'I didn't get the raise... but I don't have to laugh at his jokes anymore.'

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'