Aspiring Negotiators T-Shirts

'It's called the 'Ask your boss for a raise' diet.'

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

Changing Minds

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

Goodenow & Bettman: We have a deal Bob! But do we have any fans left?

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

'My final offer.'

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

'Sir, for Heavens' sake, stop screaming! It's just Mr Winkleberger asking for a raise!'

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

"Marriage, mortal combat. Tomato, tomahto."