Aspiring Health Nut T-Shirts

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'I always watch what I eat - right up until it disappears into my mouth.'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'My feet are killing me.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

How about going easy on the carbs

Advocado

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Steamed vegetables."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

At the market

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

All Natural Nothing

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"OK, ready to go again?"

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Exercise now!