Aspiring Environmentalist T-Shirts

'I offset my guilt about carbon emissions to China.'

Forest

The Jeopardy of Progress

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

North Pole

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Deforestation.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Humans...What is their purpose?

The Environmentalist

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

Polluted geese

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

But is it organic?

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Natural Disasters

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"