Aspiring Doctor Humorist T-Shirts

"Enjoying 'Hannibal' isn't really sufficient reason for applying to become a doctor!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Vlad the Inhaler

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Cat Scan

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."