Medical Science Humorist T-Shirts

"Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Vlad the Inhaler

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Happy Birthday to you.

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."