Aspiring Autobiographers T-Shirts

"It's an oughtobiography...."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"What made you start blogging about success?"

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"It's my autobiography. I call it, 'I Married Her For Her Money, And Other Gross Miscalculations'."

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"I fell I have a great novel me."

"Right here's the problem, apparently you have a novel in you"

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'On Company Time: A Novel'

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.