Aspiring Athletes Mugs

"In my next life I hope to be a premiership footballer."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Exercising

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

A push in the right direction: 50c.

Multisports

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."

Always stick to the script.

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'