Aspirin Analyst Prints

'Why do they make asprin so blindingly white.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

Turkish Democracy

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

"I got a tweet from Putin NOT to attack Iran."

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."

Who's Dead

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

Development in Russia after the Soviet Union...

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"He passed out from apoplectic rage directed at Trump's voter fraud conspiracies."

Economy - 'And this is where you took the day off to watch the cricket.'

"I attribute most of my problems in the third grade to the media."

Surfer and the Whale

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'My broker uses it to trade hot stocks.'