Ascending The Throne T-Shirts

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

"One day, this will all be yours. But right now, I need you down in the warehouse."

'Someday, all of this liability exposure will be yours!'

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

Ethelred II

'Don't worry, you'll grow with the job.'

"I have no problem with dictatorships; my problem is with not being the dictator."

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

'Remember, my dear, it's just a starter castle.'

'Some day son, all this will be up for grabs.'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'I convinced her that good behavior is a stealth tactic that'll help her reach her goal to one day rule the world.'

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

'Let's just say that I'm in a mood of cautious optimism.'

'Dad, when you pop off, will I become the boss of YOUR army?'

'It's a social-climbing wall.'

Five year time...

"No, mine has a gold band with diamonds, fleurs-de-lis, and four arches topped by a jewelled cross."

'Kings are SUPPOSED to flaunt it!'

'He'll have to do a drugs test!'

'Where do I see myself in five years? -- Right here, I hope.'

"The board is confident he'll grow into the job."

"I'm Miss Missouri, but my goal is to become Miss California."

A mother wanting to introduce her daughters to a member of a foreign royal family

'Now these are humble beginnings I could live with.'

Murdoch retires

'Stanley likes to think he's king of his castle.'

"I can't imagine where I'd be today if it hadn't been for my high-school guidance counselor."

'Happy Birthday, Son! -- We got you your own Swiss bank account!'

"But I don't carry cash!"