Artsy Mom Prints

"For Mother's Day I decorated the whole kitchen with glitter."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Projectile painting.'

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Sub-Zero BRAIN FREEZE

Roger feels that there are only two inante instincts in men and women. One is satisfaction of biological needs...the other is self-actualization.

"The Sky... Was Beyond Description"

Lovers dressed as pears

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

'I preferred his earlier work.'

"That' a wonderful picture, sweetheart. You know, maybe we should keep all of this garbage, in case you become a famous artist."

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

'I take from this flood of faxes that your son is in art class.'

'Mom's doctor recommended she take up knitting as a way to relax.'

A window is the popular exhibit at an art gallery.

A depressed artist imagines a drawing, but it turns black.

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

Sir Lionel Murgatroyd

"I know it's only a thumbnail sketch, but I quite like it!"

'My first tattoo...'

"Quick mommy, call Sothebys."

Igloo Art.

'I preferred it before you started taking Prozac.'

Junk Art

'It always looks that way. I'm cartoonist.'