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"Meet The Author"

Victor Hugo

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

Reading my Critics

The Dorrie Decimal System

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'He likes to power nap.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Blue Stockings

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Voltaire

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

John Bunyan

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Joan Hickson

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Don Quixote

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Author does not do tricks."

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Gunter Grass