Artists Prints

ARISTOTLE WITH A BUST OF HOMER:

'I've invented copyright.'

"Plagiarist!"

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

It was his last piece.

No Calligraphers

'There's no way he painted this ceiling mural by himself.'

This one? I left the lens cap on.

Statue Farts.

Pieter Bruegel the Elder

"Your nose is ridiculously large, you have only four fingers on each hand, and no chin at all. I'm referring you to a real artist."

Last painting of a dog for 200 yd

"You draw clip-art? What a coincidence - I write Muzak!"

"Oh, he's not a writer - he's a conceptual artist."

Boho Bribes

Munch's 'Parents Being Asked For Money'.

"I can't imagine bringing a child into the current art world."

"Wow, Leonardo! Science, art, inventions... you're a true 'Do lots of different stuff' man!"

"Nowadays it's hard to find artists who don't turn out to be sex maniacs."

Policeman: 'Sorry Folks,i'm afraid this is as far as you can go.The rest of the Cartoon hasn't been finished yet.'

And on the eigth day god has a blob of clay left over, so he created...

Vincent Van Gogh's family reunion Family members with ears missing or bandaged up

'It's just a first draft.'

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

Basil Spence

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"We at Megacorp are very supportive of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazcylone' to enhance the experience."

'Before' 'After' - witch at plastic surgeon.

Appearance Money

The Police Artist.

'Look - I'm not AN Antony Gormley, I AM Antony Gormley.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Pen