Artifact Collector Prints

The Dead Sea Squirrels.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Southwark Fair.

"You're on a what?!"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Art Gallery.

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"He's an abstract artist."

The First Printed Bible

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"I read 'Art News.'"

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'