Art World Skeptics Pillows

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

El Greco

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Rodins rotten juggler

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

Tilted painting

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

"Is this 'pollocks'."

"This painting, we're sorry to say, is pure trash."

"That's the fire alarm. . ."

'Turned out non-figurative again...'

"I'm expected to write a good review of this stuff... So here I go with some confusing art rhetoric."

'I'm really a painter and decorator - I only do this to pay the bills.'

Guillaume Apollinaire

Don't give up the hunting and gathering.

'It's my latest invention. I call it 'Picture in a picture.'

"He was famed for his work in Pantomime"

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

"It's one of my early works from before I could afford paint."

" 'Perceptual and kinetic art have an intertwined development that cannot be totally disentangled; nevertheless perceptual, optical, or "virtual" movement—which always exists in tension with factual immobility—is an experience of a different order.' "

Early Cartoonists.

Ezra Pound

'... And this is one of the artist's early pieces.'

"You've hung this picture upside down!!"

The Wonder Of It All

Pretentious man reads Culture supplement, saying: 'I don't know much about art but I know what to pretend to like.'

'I really don't see the point?'

King Charles III's coronation

"I think what I was TRYING to say with this piece was that I wanted a new car. . ."