Art Criticism Pillows

Pretentious man reads Culture supplement, saying: 'I don't know much about art but I know what to pretend to like.'

Artist and art critic

'Oh Brad - isn't it wonderful that people are still paying fortunes for this sort of junk?'

'Hmmm...I think I know what he's saying here. Sometimes we manage to break through the walls that hold us back, only to find...another wall! Yes! I get it!'

"Is this 'pollocks'."

Why am I clapping, it's cr*p!

'I think you'll find that the humour of this piece, rests largely in this small blue section here.'

'Turned out non-figurative again...'

'I think this one captures perfectly the spirit of a pickup in an art gallery, don't you?'

'Frankly I'm surprised at such a basic error - his smock's too tight.'

'... And this is one of the artist's early pieces.'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Page Three Girls

A bomber dropping paintings "Art Bombing"

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"Just how long have you been coming to these Picasso exhibitions?"

"That's the fire alarm. . ."

"I can't help thinking that in it's 'emptiness', it's absence of meaning, it's COMMUNICATING with me."

"You've hung this picture upside down!!"

"The 'empty plinth', this was from the period before the artist had anything to day."

"It's one of my early works from before I could afford paint."

Guillaume Apollinaire

I could do THAT Art

Tilted painting

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"I dunno. It just doesn’t have the ‘wow’ factor."

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

Wussapalooka

"I'm expected to write a good review of this stuff... So here I go with some confusing art rhetoric."

"What's a polite but firm way of letting them know I don't like modern architecture?"

Armchair Critics.

'Beautiful, consummate painterly skill, which we all know is old hat, and therefore, not for us.'

Ezra Pound

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'