Art World Satirist Gifts

" 'Perceptual and kinetic art have an intertwined development that cannot be totally disentangled; nevertheless perceptual, optical, or "virtual" movement—which always exists in tension with factual immobility—is an experience of a different order.' "

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'I'm really a painter and decorator - I only do this to pay the bills.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

Sock Puppet in Literature

Loan Alley

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Convenience.

Had enough of the box.

Art Gallery.

The Death Of Venus

The Origin of Creationism

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

Earth and the Coronavirus

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

Alabama Traffic Jam

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

Macho Vegetarian

"Hey, baby. . .! I'veabout got this thing won. . . Wanna come to my victory party?"

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"With great power comes great reward."

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"Our ideal employee will be able to answer email in their sleep."